Sisters-in-Service
Are you a women veteran who feels unseen and unheard? Do you struggle with finding your purpose after service? Sisters-in-Service is a podcast that gives women veterans the platform to talk about those exact issues and more. Hear from other veterans, military spouses and Veteran Service Organizations (VSO) just like you that have overcome their transition from the military. Every Tuesday this podcast encourages women veterans to stand up and be counted because as a group we have a voice. From your host - Cat Corchado - The Voice Connecting Women Veterans
Sisters-in-Service
From Breast Cancer Survivor to Style Coach: Empowering women to embrace midlife with confidence, creativity, and self-renewal.
Reinvention can start with a single question: how do I want to feel today? We open season five with certified style coach and breast cancer survivor Hardie Cobbs, who helps us trade rigid rules for a personal, energizing approach to getting dressed—one that especially serves veterans and anyone stepping out of uniforms or old identities. Hardy’s take is refreshingly human: style is the story you tell with your choices, from the clothes you reach for to the rooms you live in and the way you move through your day.
We dig into the practical first. Color is emotional and technical—undertones and chroma matter, but so does the shade that makes you light up. Fit and silhouette are tools: wide-leg trousers for elegance, tailored lines for focus, and playful shapes when you want a lift. If a color you love doesn’t flatter near your face, wear it below the waist or carry it in a bag. We talk about building a small set of trusted brands, trying on challenging silhouettes in person, and using Pinterest to spot patterns you already love. Then we tackle the bulging closet problem with a gentle, effective edit: define your style words, know your body shape, commit to your color palette, and spend a short Sunday session “playing” new pairings into existence.
Hardie also dismantles the myth of “age-appropriate.” If a mini skirt and strong legs make you feel alive at 65, that’s not a faux pas—that’s alignment. The real faux pas is outsourcing who you are to trends or AI templates that don’t know your life. Her “Year in Style” framework turns intention into rhythm, aligning wardrobe, home, and routines with each month’s micro-season so you stay connected to yourself, not surprised by the mirror. And woven through the conversation is a lifesaving reminder: book your annual mammogram and rebook the next one before you leave the office. Catching Hardy’s aggressive tumor in time changed everything.
If you’re ready to feel like yourself again—on the outside and the inside—hit play. Then tell us the one “rule” you’re ditching and the color that makes you feel unstoppable. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a confidence nudge, and leave a review so more people can find the show.
Hello everyone and welcome to season five of the Sisters in Service Podcast. You guys know me, I'm Kat Cortado, and I want all of you to understand that this podcast is a passion project born out of my own experiences as an Air Force veteran. I understand firsthand the unique challenges and triumphs that come with serving in the military and the transition to becoming a veteran. You know, this podcast is a tribute to all our people that serve. But not just the service member, our active duty people, our veterans, our military tabastics, military brats, and of course our veteran service organizations. This platform gives us an opportunity to share, learn, and grow together, acknowledging our shared experiences and providing support and encouragement to each other. Alongside this, most of you probably already know this, but I'm also doing uh the Why Not Wellness podcast. It's a little snippet, 15 minutes or less, but this is a space dedicated to helping everyone rediscover their fitness fabulosity. It's a journey towards feeling good in our bodies and embracing wellness. Because I believe that our health and wellness are the pillars upon which we build our lives, especially after service. I'm incredibly grateful for the support of our sponsors. The first one is SmallSpace Pilates, which is an online fitness platform offering live classes in strength training, stretching, and of course Pilates. These classes are designed to be accessible and effective no matter where you are in your fitness journey. The second sponsor is the My Sexy Business. They offer guidance and help you to own a business that doesn't own you. So let's get started with our first guest for our new season. Hi everyone. Welcome to another episode of Sisters in Service. You know me, I am your host, Kat Cortado. And today's guest is someone who has turned life's hardest moments into a source of light, not only for herself, but for women all over the world. Hardy Cobbs is a certified style coach and the founder of A Year in Style, a transformational approach to midlife that blends creativity, confidence, and self-reinvention. After facing breast cancer and coming out the other side, she felt a deep calling to help other women reconnect with themselves, not just how they look, but how they feel, live, and move through this next chapter of life. So if you don't know, we're gonna be talking about clothes. We're gonna talk about what's appropriate, what's not appropriate, we're gonna break some rules, we're gonna do all those things. Hardy, welcome to Sister Easter. Thank you, Kat.
SPEAKER_01:This is gonna be a very fun conversation. I'm looking forward to it.
SPEAKER_00:Thanks for having me. I I know Hardy from another podcast that um I did with my salty sister Yvonne Marchese, in case you didn't know. Her name sounds familiar. And I started thinking about, you know, because I know you're wondering, it's like, okay, Hardy's not a veteran. Why is she here? Here's why she's here. If you spend any amount of time in the military and you're wearing a uniform for, I don't know, four years, eight years, twelve years, forty years, who knows? What happens when you leave? Do you know how to dress? Do you know what business casual is? Do you know what looks good on you, what colors look good on you? This is what Hardy does. Okay, and we're gonna talk about all of that. So Hardy, here's my first question is when women are, you know, when you're younger, you just go out and buy things, you know, you're like, oh, I love this. You know, you just would you don't have, as my mother said, you have no shame. You'll try anything. All that thing works. Yeah. And I'm a I'm a product of the 70s. Okay. Everything was okay back in the 70s. But what how do we, as we as we grew adult, I hate that word, adulting suck sometimes. But adulting, when we're adulting, how do we pick clothes? Like every day, you know, at home, but let's say I'm going to a really nice party. How do we start? What do I do?
SPEAKER_01:What's the first thing that what should I think about first? Well, that's that's sort of the blank canvas of a painter, right? Like where are you starting? It can be really, I think it can be really um just sort of daunting to say, oh gosh, well, where do I wear, especially if you have been in a uniform and you have that structure and that um that was made up for you and now you have you can choose anything. So how do you start that? I always I one thing that I really love doing is helping women figure out what their style is. And one of those things is don't pay attention to rules. So just take the rules and go, you know, throw those out the window. But but really just think about other than weather or what you have to wear, like if you're going somewhere and it's black tie, other, you know, sometimes you have those specific things and that will tell you what you need to do. But I really think it's a matter of how you feel in your clothes. And, you know, are you someone who really likes dresses? You know, would you want to start that, or do you hate dresses? You know, you're only a pants person, and that's what you're gonna do. You really start with how are you gonna feel comfortable? I mean, I have a whole process of how do you feel, like where you go through your words, and we can talk about that later. But I really feel like it starts with how other than the weather and that that kind of stuff that I just said, just how do you want to feel when you when you go? Like do you if you go into your words, do you want to feel smart? Do you want to feel um comfortable? Do you want to feel approachable? That will tell you how dressy you have to get, how you know not dressy you have to get, what have you. But um, there's sort of a whole thing into how you feel, I think. Exactly.
SPEAKER_00:I think I always start with color. Color is a big, like purple. And I know people say, Well, what color purple? All of it. All of it. I know you love and purple's so beautiful on you. It's I love it. I start with the color, and then if the color brings me towards whatever this is, whether it's dress or whatever, and then I look to for sizes and I try a couple sizes on. And sometimes I've loved something so much and it just doesn't fit me right. You know what I mean? And um, I I think that I start with color, but some people might start with just I don't know, what else would you start with? Just silhouette. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:But that's that's also how you feel. Color makes you feel a certain way. I bet when you choose purple versus maybe when you choose orange, that makes you feel different things. Purple might be your safe color, it might be the color that grounds you the most. That's what you're starting with. You're starting with that. Um, and for you, from what I can tell, you color story, doing a color story is very important to you. That's a strong element of your style. So that's what you're starting with. Or you could start with silhouette, sort of if you know you love to wear pants. Well, what silhouette pants? Do you like the skinny, you know, sort of a narrow pant? Do you like a wide leg? Both, you know, any or a barrel leg, all of those are going to make you feel a different way. Absolutely. They're gonna play into, you know, sort of, I always say like a wide leg trouser is makes you feel a little bit more dressed up, right? Or a little bit more elegant.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah. I just recently got into wide leg jeans, like really why, you know, because it makes me feel kind of funky. I think I told you my style was boho funk. Yeah. Which uh purple boho funk, which I love. But Hardy, here's a question for you. You often say style is more than clothes, it's it's also energy. What do you mean by that when people when you talk to people?
SPEAKER_01:So everyone thinks style is, oh, it's it's what I put on my body. They kind of confuse it with fashion. It's not, it's style is or it's sort of the choices that you make of how you're moving through this earth. You know, it's like it is the choices that you make that you put on your body. I mean, you and I can put on the same shirt and the same pants, but it's what we do with it that is our style, what we put together. But it's also how you decorate your house, what story you're telling in your house. It's how you wrap a present, it's how you, it's the books you read, it's where you travel, it's how you treat people, quite frankly. It's it's everything that it's almost like, and I don't like this term, but I can't for right now I can't come up with another word, but it's like your personal brand. It is you for sure moving through this world and everything that all the decisions that you make that represent who you are. And that's why it's so important to understand your style so you're telling that story because whether or not you realize it, if you're paying attention to or not, you're telling a story. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:It's part of you, I think. Yeah, whether it's your color. I knew a woman that she could take just, I won't say they were ordinary clothes, but she could take, you know, a beige top, black pants, and make it pop with accessories. Like she would walk in and you're just like, You look amazing. She goes, Oh, I got these pants from Target, and I got this, you know. And I'm like, Oh my gosh. That's so good.
SPEAKER_01:People think style is fancy. They think it's oh, you have to spend a lot of money, you have to be rich, you have to be young, you have to be skinny. It's not that. It's it's you making these decisions that express who you are. And like a woman that you're talking about like that, who she made an impact on you, it's because she was comfortable in her style and she was telling her stories. Yeah. And that's what we pick. Yeah, that's what we pick up on is that energy of like, oh wow, she's really in her style. And that's why when you see somebody, this is what happens to women, a lot of women in midlife, and maybe even your community of women who've been in uniforms, is they might see that woman and go, oh, I like that. I'm gonna try that, I'm gonna do that. And although that's fine, it's not gonna work because she's telling her story and you have your story. So you take elements of things that you see that you like, but make it yours through your influences, your accessories or what have you.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. Um, I found out rather late in life that I really love chunky rings and bracelets, you know, necklaces, not so much, but earrings, not really earring girl, but rings and bracelets, I love. I love them.
SPEAKER_01:Can I ask you? Because you have the most beautiful hands. You have gorgeous hands, gorgeous nails. Do you love like you're expressive with your hands and you use your hands probably a lot in your work and what have you? And that is probably this incredible extension for you to look down as you're using your hands and see all these different rings and things that you've probably picked up on your travels or people have given you, or what have you. Absolutely. Yeah, that's really important.
SPEAKER_00:And I think it's it becomes a part of me. Like if I every day, you know, I take them off at night, of course, but every day I'm like, I gotta put my rings on. And if I forget, which I've done before, I feel naked. I feel like a part of me is gone. Yeah, it's so weird how that happens, right? Do you rotate through rings or do you wear the same rings? Oh, sometimes I rotate, yeah. Sometimes I'm like, oh, let's let's wear this one today. Oh, that's great. So, Hardy, a lot of women hit midlife and feel like they're standing at a crossroads. Who they were versus who they are now, who they're becoming. How do you help women navigate that?
SPEAKER_01:Well, I talk a lot about um, I talk a lot about acceptance, just having compassion and acceptance for who you are now, and try not to look back and try to become that person again, or have, I mean, of course, we're gonna have sadness around, you know, aging and what have you. That's just normal. But really uh accepting that and realizing I always use this little um this little exercise saying, you know, 10 years ago you were you were sort of fussing about yourself, going, oh, I wish I could lose 10 pounds around my, you know, or I wish these pants filled or whatever. Well, guess what? You do anything to be back there now. So in 10 years from now, you're gonna appreciate where you are right this minute. So it's a matter of like really acceptance and compassion and um and realizing that you're the point of life is to evolve. And if you're lucky enough to be here, you're it's to grow and to become more of you all the time. And so if you're hanging on to who you used to be, how you used to dress, whatever, whatever it is you're hanging on to, then you're missing out on finding out who you are right now.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. I had a friend of mine, we were kind of lamenting a little bit about our bodies as as we age. And she had said something, she goes, I got out of the shower, and she goes, I was, I didn't know who this person was looking back at me. And and I said, Yeah, I know how you feel. I said, but just imagine this for a second, because she's in fitness too. I said, Imagine what our bodies would look like if we had never worked out. We both screamed, we're like, there you go.
SPEAKER_01:That's exactly the same thing. Like, what if you weren't doing what you're doing now? Yeah. Yeah, we were kind of horrified. Well, it's very confronting. I remember when the first time I sort of looked, I was going through um some cancer treatment, and I remember looking in the mirror going, oh, holy hell, I don't know if I can say that, but I who in the world is that? I mean, I really looked at myself going, I I don't even understand, I don't even know who you are. And um, and that's a very confronting time. And and I really I understand that, and a lot most of my clients have been through that, but it's really having compassion and perspective and acceptance, really.
SPEAKER_00:And I think that comes, it's it's not like a decision. I think it comes gradually, the acceptance, the you know, starting to figure out who, you know, who am I now? And that, and I think that's by experimenting. There are things that you might try or do and it doesn't work out, but it doesn't mean it's a bad thing. It means okay, I did that, I don't like that, but it leaves you open for what else is open for you. You know, I truly believe that.
SPEAKER_01:One thing that I have my clients do is um we're really good at at saying, Well, I don't, I don't like my arms, I don't like my this, you know, we're real good at that, but switching the narrative and saying, Well, give me three parts of your body that you do love, or three areas of your life that you do love. And let's start to highlight that. Let's let's make that negative go away. But and and once they kind of do it, and I say it can't be on your face, like I mean your face or your head or your eyes or something can be one, but it has to be on your body. And once they realize, like, you know, women have said, I really love my chest or I love my legs, then let's highlight that. Then when you get rest, make sure you're highlighting that. And then that kind of starts, that's that kind of slowly it starts to change that negative narrative a little bit.
SPEAKER_00:I did that with a client. She was just, oh, I, you know, I don't like my body, I don't like this, I don't like that. And I stood her in front of a mirror. I think we were in a club and a fitness club, and I stood her in front of the mirror and I said, Okay, tell me what you don't like about yourself. But here's the rule you give me one thing you don't like, you have to give me two things that you do like. There you go.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And she looked at me and I was like, she goes back, really? And I go, Yes. But she started to notice, you know, because we've seen ourselves so much. And when someone goes, Oh my god, you're you've got the most gorgeous hair. Yeah. And you're like, wait, what? Really? But you don't really, you know what I'm saying? Because there are people who would, you know, if you have straight hair, you want curly hair. If you have curly hair, you know, you have black hair, you want blonde hair. You don't want to be satisfied.
SPEAKER_01:So And we're not, you know, a lot of times women of this, you know, midlife of our generation, they feel weird about even saying, I like my chest, or I like something about myself. There's that permission, and that's what's so nice that you have given them and my exercise. It gives them permission to think about themselves and reconnect with them. That's the beginning of reconnection. And and for me, I feel like you you really get you really discover your style when you start to reconnect with who you are and what it is that you where you've been and where you're going.
SPEAKER_00:Well, I think also when you're out, you know, like if you're I hardly ever go the mall, but every now and then I'll go to the mall with my husband. Yeah. And I is it appropriate to say that when you are drawn to the same, let's say wide leg pants, for instance, okay. When you're drawn to those all the time, is that a clue that maybe that's something you could experiment with? You mean changing? Like you do too much. Yeah, well, no, no, no. I mean, as if you know, you're trying to change how you dress a little bit. And and you keep, oh, I'd love, oh, I don't know a lot. You know what I'm saying? But you you're drawn to it automatically. Is that a clue that maybe that's something that maybe you should introduce?
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. And I I absolutely when you start seeing, I have I have people do one way to find your style and things that you're really starting to get interested in is to do a Pinterest board and and just start looking for things that you like. And it might not, it might be a whole outfit, it might be the wide leg jeans, it might be shoes. But after you've pinned enough images, 20 plus images, you start to see things that your eye, it's almost like you're showing yourself what it is that you're interested in. Yeah. And when you start seeing, maybe you start seeing these wide leg pants come up. Go to the store and try them on and see how they fit. Know how to know how things different silhouettes fit your body, know what you're trying to do with your body shape, but then go try them on. I mean, you do have to, you know, we're in a a a time where um, you know, online shopping is so easy and there's so much online. But I find I find at this age, pants are are something that it's you're better going to the store and trying on, especially if you're changing it or trying a new silhouette for sure.
SPEAKER_00:But or even if, okay, I have a weird body, I'm short waisted, but I have long limbs.
unknown:Oh, you do, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So I can't just, oh, let me go try this, you know, or buy it online because you know, one of two things happen. It's either too short, yeah, or I pull it down and the and the crotch is hanging somewhere between my knees. Like, and I'm like, okay, this is so not attractive. Wow. So I learned, I you know, I learned that, you know, if I really want something, I have to not shop for it necessarily, but you know, find it, find what store has what I'm looking for, and then go see, you know, how it fits me. Yeah. But um, yeah, it's that's hilarious.
SPEAKER_01:I have the short waist, but short limbs. So I don't having long limbs would be nice.
SPEAKER_00:Hardy, what is the one style rule about midlife dressing that makes you roll your eyes every time you hear it? Oh, the age appropriate rule. I feel, oh my gosh, it really sends me to the moon.
SPEAKER_01:Because I I get DM, I bet once a week, like, I really want to wear this, but is it age appropriate? What do you think about this? And I just, you know, going back to uh what your style is and and or or dressing, we don't dress to impress other people. We dress for ourselves. We dress, clothes are meant to support you throughout your day. You wake up in the morning and you say, How do I want to feel? What is, you know, what do I have going on? And um, and when you know how you want to feel, then you choose, you you after time you understand, oh, when I would feel this way, I want to wear those wide leg pants. I'm gonna wear those. But if you have a style that let's say you like mini skirts, let's say you love your legs and you want to highlight your legs and you love mini skirts, but you're 65 years old, everyone that they hold that back. But guess what? If that makes you go out into this world and be fabulous, girl, wear that, wear that mini skirt. Totally and treat people great and do the thing that you do. Who who are we to say you cannot wear that? So I'm I'm real like, but I also think we all have our internal mother maybe in our head going, we know we know when we put something on, even though there's not a rule, we know, like, ah, I think I may have just grown out of that or what have you. But so I don't think you're gonna ever let yourself make a fool of yourself, is what everyone's worried about. But if it makes you feel good, do it.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, just do it. I have to tell you, I had an in, I don't know if it was an internal voice, but there was something that I was thinking or that was preventing me from wearing shorts. Like my legs were cut have been covered up until this year.
unknown:Interesting.
SPEAKER_00:And I started seeing other women in around my age, and I thought, why am I doing this? Why am I so for the first time in years, I wore shorts. And how did it feel? It felt great. I love that. Oh, I love that. It felt great, it felt I felt comfortable. I wasn't, you know, like self-conscious. I was like, I'm gonna do this.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and that's that age appropriate. I mean, I remember I I don't I don't wear shorts because of I just don't feel comfortable in them because my you know, it's like this. I have, you know, you have little things on your legs and like yeah, but so for me, it's not an age thing. I just don't, but I this summer I really we went hiking and I was like, I'm gonna wear shorts. And I did it for the first time in probably a decade. I wore shorts, and I was a little self-conscious. And then I was like, Why am I why have I been holding myself back?
SPEAKER_00:This is exactly it's it wasn't even anything conscious. I just kept thinking, oh, I I should not that I shouldn't. I just like, yeah, I'm not gonna wear shorts anymore.
SPEAKER_01:And I don't know where that came from, but yeah, it was just oh yeah, age, you know, rule that's been out there. But yeah, yeah, no, I don't believe in the age rules.
SPEAKER_00:Do you find that there's that women that you help are disconnected from their bodies, so it's harder for them to pick clothes?
SPEAKER_01:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01:I do, yeah, because they a lot of times they like we started out saying when we're young, we tried everything, right? We took risks, we tried everything, and then you probably settled into a style when you were in your 30s or what have you. And and you just you knew how to to dress your body, you just sort of knew what worked. But then as time goes on, even if you haven't gained an ounce, your body has shifted. The gravity has changed and and clothes can fit differently. Yes. And so absolutely. So they're become they they're they kind of beat themselves like, why are these pants don't fit me anymore? Why is this not? And basically it's you just have to update your skill of knowing how to dress your body shape, you know, how do you balance that body shape um and what silhouettes work on you? Where, you know, if you're if you're um, I use um shapes like triangles, some people will call that uh, you know, a pair. If you're heavier on the bottom and smaller on top, that triangle shape, you just have to back you have to know what pants fit, if you're curvy, you know, fit that, but then you know that you have to bring some emphasis to your shoulder so your balance so it balances out, yeah, absolutely. That kind of thing. But but just people get real disconnected because they they haven't been taking those risks anymore, they haven't been trying things on, and then they just get stuck, they don't know how to dress their body anymore.
SPEAKER_00:So I have one more question for you. Um, I've been seeing a lot on social media about AI. Let AI pick out your clothes. So I want to ask your opinion of what you think about that. Is it I haven't tried it, you know. But of course they make everything look, oh, just you know, and I'm thinking, I don't know. What do you what's your opinion on that?
SPEAKER_01:Well, I haven't tried it, do you know, at all. But um, I don't yeah, I I suppose, I mean, I'm a I'm I don't want to say I'm against it because I think for some people it might be the perfect thing. It might help them, might be the perfect entry into what should I wear. I don't know what the do you know what the um prompt is that they put in? Do they put in sort of I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:I just keep seeing it. It's like, oh, have AI pick out your, you know, I guess put a wardrobe together for you or or something. I I I haven't done it because it freaks me out.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I think it's kind of I think it's weird because then it's just somebody's telling you who you are and how you should show up. I mean, that's the problem I have with it is because I find style, like I've said, this is your story and how you're moving through and how you're expressing yourself. So why would you let a computer tell you that on Monday you need to look like a French woman and your stripes and your jeans and your smart tennis shoes, and then on Tuesday, you're gonna look like you know, something else. I just I find that part difficult. I think maybe if you narrow down and you tell it exactly who you are and what you love, maybe it's a tool that could help you pick your outfits that you've told them that you like, but using it to have it tell you what your style is, I'm completely against.
SPEAKER_00:And even paying for it, you know, like, oh, you know, remember, I remember back in the day when you would try an app and they'd say, try it for a month, you know. Like, oh, now it's like try it for three days, and you have to put your credit card in. And I'm like, I don't know what you can do for me, because if anything doesn't come up purple, we're done.
SPEAKER_01:The purple story with my rings don't come up. But no, I just feel like like your style is um, it's it's you, it's it's your I think one way to really understand your style is is to go back into your life experiences and see what those influences have been. Maybe it's where you've traveled, maybe there was someone you met when you were a certain age that really was very um important to you, that really affected you and changed your life. It's it can be anything. Maybe it's the region of where you lived or all the places that you lived, but you have to understand what those influences are to bring that into your life. That's where those accessories come in. That's where all of that. And so having AI do that, there it's never gonna know your story. It's never gonna be. That's true.
SPEAKER_00:They don't they don't know where you've where you've been, where you're going. Yeah, you know, stuff like that. I do know that I love clothes that are easy to put on, they look fabulous. You know, something has little tiny buttons that you got to button in the back. And and even though it's cute, I'm like, no, I'm not going through that. You know, just like the high heel shoes. Yeah, you know, I used to love those and finally realized because I have high arches, I can't wear those types of shoes. Right. I can still wear heels, just not those, you know. So I go in this door and I'm like, and I'm like, oh, yeah, you're so pretty, but we can only be friends.
SPEAKER_01:Oh my gosh, but that's so huge that you do that, that you're able to go, you are so pretty, but we are not coming together. Because a lot of people, it takes them a long time to learn those lessons and they keep buying the same thing and it doesn't work, they don't know. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And that's happened to me too. You know, you keep buying the same thing, and then finally you just go, Why do I keep doing this? Yeah, yeah. What is my problem? And then you just kind of shift a little bit. Hardy, what does someone do if you know we all have our own color, meaning we have our color palette? Yep, you know, the whites, the blacks, the grays, the browns, whatever they are. How do I know what color or colors look good on me?
SPEAKER_01:How do I know this? So it's it's about your undertones. It's you talk about your undertones, which you're either you warm undertone or cool undertone or neutral. Sometimes people are neutral. That's more of your olive skin people. And so you start there. And so if you're a warm undertone, then warm colors obviously are going to look better on you. You're all like right now, the all all the autumn colors look wonderful. Um, if you're cool, then more, you know, so your blue undertones um will look good on you. And after that, then you're talking about the chroma, it's how bright, how pure is the color, or how muted is the color. So for instance, you are a warm undertone and you are muted. That's why these this muted purple that you have on right now looks just perfect on you. It's just perfect. Whereas if you were wearing, I don't know if anyone can see the color, like if the color of your the background of our names on this screen, if you were wearing that bright color, you could probably pull that off a little bit, like if you were going somewhere. But if you were to wear that, that's too bright for you. That's too clear for you. You need that more muted tone. Um, and so you really look at both, and and then the brightness. If you're really light, then you need a, you know, how light or how dark, deep of a color. But you break it down into how bright or you know, deeper light, your chroma, and then the the undertones. That's how you know.
SPEAKER_00:Wow. So I do know, or correct me if I'm wrong, that maybe there's a color you've been wearing that you love, but doesn't necessarily should be up near your face. But maybe you could wear it as pants or even shoes or even accessories. A hundred percent.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And and and once again, because I'm I'm not a big like you must follow this rule. If you love that purple color, the brighter purple, wear it for for goodness sakes, wear it. But you will know, like, ah, this kind of feels a little off. So, what you do is if you find a blouse that's that, then maybe you wear something around your neck. It's just really how it reflects against your face. Maybe you wear something a little muted that tones everything down around your face. But just because you like I love that burnt orange, that sort of brown burnt orange. I love that. It's beautiful. I cannot pull that off to save my life. It just washes me out. But I can wear it as pants, I can wear it a handbag, I can wear it, maybe even a like a necklace or something. I can pull it off a little bit. Everyone can pull that off, but I just can't have it against my face. Against your face. Yeah, that's all that is.
SPEAKER_00:So, Hardy, how do you, when you are shopping, or how do you pick something? Is it something that you just kind of go, ooh, what's this? Or are you intentional? You're like, I want this pair of pants, it's gotta be, you know, straight legged, it's gotta be this color. Are you are you kind of like that? Are you just like, oh, let me see where where I fall, you know, when I go out?
SPEAKER_01:A little bit of both. I mean, I, you know, at this age and and especially what I do, I don't need anything in my closet. I don't need another item, but you know, there's some times where it's like, oh, you know, this wouldn't help. Um, but so if I do need an item, I, you know, I will go and I I know exactly the shape I'm looking for, I know the color, that kind of stuff. So I'm very intentional and I know the brand, I have several brands that I are my trusted brands. But because I take, I don't, I don't take women shopping, like my clients, I don't shop for them, but I do take some clients to Paris and we shop for a couple of days, which is really fun. I bet. So I use so before we go, I know we've worked together and I know their colors, I know their body shape, I know what I know their budget, I know what they're looking for. And when you have all those pieces together, it helps you go right in and just things fall apart. You can look at the heels that you saw and go, oh, those you're so pretty, but I'm not, you know, you're not for us. And you just, but we know I that's why I always say you have to know these things before you go shopping, because all the pretty things that you don't don't work for you just fall away. And then the things that you really know work. Um, and that comes with practice, but yeah, I think you have to be armed with your colors, body shape, how to do the silhouettes that work for you, your budget, what you're looking for, all of those things, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Do you have clients who will say to you, I have nothing to wear?
SPEAKER_01:Do I have a client that never says that?
SPEAKER_00:But what do you say to them? You know, especially if they've got wall-to-wall clothes and they're like, I have nothing to wear.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I have nothing to wear because a lot of times they've bought um, because I'll get in there and and and look, they've bought those one-off items, you know, the the they go and they buy this top that looks great, but they don't have anything to wear with it when they get it. They don't think through the purchase, like, well, what am I gonna actually wear this with? Or they have a dress that's too dressy that they don't, it doesn't fit their lifestyle, that kind of thing. Or it's clothes that they've hung on to forever and it's just dead weight and they just don't want to to wear it. But a lot of times when someone says, I have so much in my closet, but I don't have anything to wear, they're in a rut and they just don't understand what their style is. They don't understand how they're wanting to show up, they haven't updated that style yet.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_01:That's a lot of times what it is.
SPEAKER_00:Do you ever to ask clients to get rid of certain things? Like, is that a process for them? Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:They get so nervous when I when it's our wardrobe edit time because they're like, oh gosh, am I gonna have anything left? And it's not that, but if it doesn't, we've done the work prior. Like I said, we know their style, we know how they're trying to express themselves, we know how to dress their body, we know the color, those are sort of the the triangle. We go into the wardrobe with that information in mind, yeah. And then it's clear, it's actually clear to them. I mean, and if they have a really hard, if I, you know, say, I I think this doesn't fit our criteria, oh, but I my mother gave that to me, or yeah, whatever.
SPEAKER_00:It has a sentimental kind of attachment to it.
SPEAKER_01:If they have a big enough closet, I say just keep it in here. But if they don't, if space, let's take a picture of it and let someone else enjoy that piece. And so you just it sometimes you need someone just to kind of help you through things, and yeah, I don't want, you know, I had some memory with this. I went to some dinner with this, and um, sometimes I think for me, because I just did a huge, I just cleared out my wardrobe. Um, the thinking that someone else can enjoy it is just a really nice way to release an item that you're just struggling with. I know I'm not gonna wear this anymore. Why isn't let's let someone else enjoy this?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Or even maybe you find something that goes with it, and you're just like, oh, I have a new outfit.
SPEAKER_01:That's the other thing, and that's the thing that I love doing. I'm like, well, have you ever thought about putting this shirt over here that you never wear with these pants over here?
unknown:Oh, I never thought about that.
SPEAKER_01:So you have to play. I always say on Sundays, get in your closet and give yourself 30 minutes and play. Play around, yeah. Dress up. Yeah, dress up and put it together, and then you'll go, Oh my gosh, I have way more to wear than I thought.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I I think I know the answer to this question, but do you find that when a woman has gotten her wardrobe together with your help, of course, that it really helps her confidence? Like some women are so confident in their job and what they do, and yet they come, you know, when it comes to dressing themselves, you know, or finding clothes, that they're kind of like, oh, I don't know. They kind of they kind of rear back a little bit and they're kind of like timid about it. Do you find that?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. I the work that I do. So I'm a style coach. I'm like a stylist that uses life coaching skills. And so my my whole thing that I do is I try to help your inner confidence, sort of how you're showing up in your life, align with your outer confidence, how you're presenting yourself. And what happens is is like what you're saying, if somebody, if a woman is is just she's just on fire in her job and her career and what however she's showing up in life, and she loves that, but she doesn't know how to dress herself, then something's amiss. And vice versa, you might know how to dress yourself, but you're not showing up in your life the way that you want to. And so having those two those two areas aligned to me is just um, I think that's how you age really with confidence because oh yeah, you're doing it. You're you're you have that when you when you're showing up as yourself and you're dressed as yourself, there's nothing you can't do, and you're just on top of the world, right?
SPEAKER_00:When you're wearing something that just makes you feel so good and you walk into a room and you know, it's almost like you own the room.
SPEAKER_01:Not not that you do, but you walk in and people are like, oh my, you know, I love when I see somebody like that. It just it's so inspiring, and it's just I'm always like, Yay, you like we need more of that. But yeah, but just because there's something about it when you feel just like God, I I I'm I look like myself and I look good, and and what means for you, you're stepping out into your world, doing what you do, it's great.
SPEAKER_00:I was just thinking about when you were talking about playing in your closet, and I remember going with my husband, he was trying to pick shirts and ties, you know. Yeah, and he'd he'd show me the tie and show me the shirt, and I'm like, ew, and then he put it together and I go, Oh, oh, that's funny. I'm like, oh, okay, it makes sense now. So sometimes I see things and I'm like, you know, separately, and then I see somebody put it together and I'm like, oh, that's really nice.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so it comes from playing, it really does. It comes from and and it could be something that you you're on your your Pinterest board, or maybe you see someone on his Instagram or someone in your own life who has an outfit that you really responded to. Well, try to recreate that with what you have. Try to not recreate like, oh, I need a red shirt and khaki pants and whatever, right? Not that, but what what was the essence of that outfit that worked? Was it the shoe there was a pop of color in the shoes and everything was neutral? Was it that she wore a scarf in a certain way? Try to recreate that and make it your own because there's something about that that spoke to you, and you just don't try to copy it completely, but just the essence of what it was is oh yeah, but you got to play to do that, you really do. Exactly.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I'm not sure this is an appropriate question. And if it's not, then I get it. But is there any such thing as a fashion faux pas for women who are in their midlife or no?
SPEAKER_01:Um, I mean, I think that might be in the same camp as the age appropriate. I don't know, you know, like fashion faux pas is what I mean, fashion it would be like wearing white after Labor Day, or you know, or I don't know. I don't even know if there are fashion footballs anymore. Yeah. I mean, growing up, I certainly was like, oh yeah. After Easter, you can wear whatever and after Labor Day, and um don't have your your pants too short, and now it's like penlines or all different lengths. So I don't know. Actually, that's a really good question. Yeah, I'd be interested to see what are fashion footballs these days. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:I just I I was thinking about it because something you said made reminded me of um when then President Obama had shown up, and I think he had this beige suit, something on. I guess you're supposed to wear blue or something. He and people lost their minds. And I was like, right, he looks good. I don't understand what's the problem.
SPEAKER_01:It wasn't presidential or whatever it was, it wasn't powerful or something like that. I was just I was like, wow, okay. I don't know if they're but you know, I mean, everything goes. I don't even think so many people talk about oh, that's the 90s trend coming back or the 80s trend. I know, I hate that. I hate that, but I also think that anything goes these days, and you you know, if you want to dress like the 90s, 80s, 70s, whatever you might as well hang on to it because it's coming back, you know, just put your stuff in a storage unit and then like oh, let me pull it back out, you know.
SPEAKER_00:You those racks, what are those racks with with all the clothes in here?
SPEAKER_01:You're right. It does. I mean, hang on to some stuff, and it'll definitely come back for sure.
SPEAKER_00:Hardy, have you ever had a client that was just lacking self-confidence all over? I mean, how how do you start with someone like that?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I actually a lot of my clients um start out that way. There's been some life event that's happened in semester's um divorce, change of career, death, like that. And so the confidence is kind of low. But um, so we really start with where you are. I really love people to reconnect with themselves first and just say, Where are you in life right now? And kind of assess where they are and where they're wanting to go and and and go into that life story. Go back, go back to where you've been. What is that life story? And that reconnection with self does start to get it start to build the confidence. And then once they start uh learning a few things of you know, the compassion and and and acceptance piece really starts to play in, and the three parts of your body that you really appreciate, that start, these are little steps that have them start to kind of feel confident and then learning the colors. And and so I do see it, I really start to see that, but it's little steps. But I think in general, what that is is just recon taking the time to reconnect with yourself, understand who you are. Um, because it getting to this age is very confronting. Your runway is much shorter. You oh God, am I doing everything that I want to do?
SPEAKER_00:And yeah, you start not questioning everything. I think for me, as you know, a lot of people when I started my business, and they say, Well, aren't you aren't you too old? And I'm like, Oh god. No, you know, I and and so it's not that I'm in a hurry. I'm trying to learn as much as I can, you know, because you know, I have more more time behind me than I do in front of me.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So I'm trying to do not do all the things, but I'm trying to enjoy all of these things, you know. I used to say one of my favorite foods is ice cream. I think it should be its own food group. And you know, I used to say, Oh, let's just save the ice cream. And my husband's like, let's just eat it now. Because what are we saving it for? And I was like, Oh, I love you so much.
unknown:Exactly.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, what are you saving it for?
SPEAKER_00:I mean, today all we got is today. Today is our well, my mother used to say, let's let's save it for, you know, she she was one of those, you know. And someone's like, Oh, let's see, you know, he's like, No, let's just eat it now, you know. Um, Hardy, tell us our audience a little bit more about um a year in style. What does that look like?
SPEAKER_01:So a year in style, that's my website. Um, a year in style, also the name of my business. I it's it's all about being intentional with your with your life. I do think that when you're paying attention to those decisions, that is your style, every day, every week, every month, then you're living a year in style. You're really paying attention to that. And I've and I break um the year down, each month has its own rhythm. It has its own, um, if you think about it, it had we kind of it has its own weather, you know, a little micro weather, it has its own rhythm. There are different opportunities or different holidays, what have you. But if you look at each month and you make that an exercise that you pay attention to, things that you can be doing for your personal, like your your beauty routine or your personal style, your house, or what have you. So on the website, each I have a each month has personal style, interiors, lifestyle, and beauty routines. I give you style tips of what to pay attention to this month. What can I be doing? You know, maybe it's we're getting ready to come into a new season. So maybe it's a wardrobe edit this month, and let's pay attention to that. But I think when you're paying attention to your life, to these decisions, then you're not gonna all of a sudden be 70 years old going, damn it, I didn't do this, this, and this. Yeah, exactly. You're really paying attention and staying connected to yourself so that you are living your life. You're living your best life, not to be cliche, but you're living your best life.
SPEAKER_00:And so it's being present in your own life. You know, we kind of just walk through and you know, we hit roadblocks every now and then, but we're kind of oblivious of here or even in front of us, our own selves.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_00:You know, and then all of a sudden, you know, you look in the mirror and you think, oh my gosh, who is that person? You know, and then it's this shock, right? Because you've been living life, you've been raising kids, you've been working, you've been doing all this other stuff. Now you're an empty nester, and you, you know, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror because what you feel here is different than what you see here, you know. And sometimes they don't connect together. Sometimes you're like, wait, what? Who's that? That's my mom, you know. Exactly.
unknown:That's my mom.
SPEAKER_01:But I actually had never thought about it like that. Staying intentional and making, like you're saying, making all these choices, that eliminates that looking in the mirror and going, who in the world is that? You that's not gonna happen when you are staying connected to yourself and you're making choices. And and and back to the acceptance bit is if you know that every day, every week, every month, every year, you're doing the best you can, you're taking care of yourself the best you can. Yeah, there can't be any judgment because you're doing the best you can. Right. And there's no you there can't be judgment on that. There's just acceptance and compassion, I think. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so Hardy, I want to kind of pivot just a little bit um and talk. You know, October is breast cancer awareness, and you are a breast cancer survivor. I'm so glad that you're still here with us. What is one thing that you can uh tell women, you know, about uh, you know, getting, I mean, they always hear it. I see I hear it on TV, get your mammogram, get your mammogram. But from someone who's experienced it, were you getting mammograms regularly or were you or did you put it off and then went later? Or can would you mind speaking about that just a little bit?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Um, I yeah, so I I was pretty good. I mean, I'm I'm pretty on top of my health. And so I do my mammograms and that kind of stuff. I had had a biopsy in that breast um probably two years prior. And so I was I was a little bit more on the ball about this, but we were really busy. We were thinking contemplating moving from the west coast to the east coast, and my husband was about to take the job, and I said, Ah, I'm just gonna wait till I get there and do that in maybe six months. And then because I'd had that biopsy, I said, No, you know, I should probably go in. So I went in, they called me back, and um, and I thought, oh, they're just gonna tell me that, you know, whatever. And then it was. So my tumor was incredibly um aggressive. They have these different markers, and had I waited that six months, it would have been a completely different story. And so my message to everyone is please get your annual mammogram. Please just pick a date. That's the that's my little motto. Pick a date, pick your birthday, your spouse's birthday so that you remember it. So you remember it. And then when you get that the appointment, after you have it, book it again for the next year. Have that on the calendar, don't let it go because breast cancer can, it's it's not necessarily um, you know, it's not, oh, you can have breast cancer, oh that, you know, that's it. You can catch this and this can it doesn't have to be a terrible thing. I mean, it's not fun, but you can have you can be here eight years later talking to Kat Quarchado on a podcast about breast cancer.
SPEAKER_00:So that's yeah. Artie, where can people find you if they if they need your services, what you do for women?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so I on I'm on Instagram at Ayear in Style, and then my website is um ayeerinstyle.com. And on there, I have a new, you can sign up for my newsletter on the website. Um and I I it's not ready now, but in about three weeks, I have a style audit sort of quiz that I'm putting out that will help you understand where you are and how I can help you in that way. So if you get on my newsletter, um, you'll be the first to to receive that quiz.
SPEAKER_00:So well, Hardy, this has been such an amazing conversation. Um, I don't know about my listeners, but I feel like I just sat down with a wise friend who reminded me that reinvention reinvention isn't just possible, but it's also personal. Your story is such a powerful example of turning a life-altering experience into a source of strength and creativity. Whether it's the way we dress, the spaces we live in, or the stories we tell ourselves, style as you show us is really about how we show up for our own lives. So if you, sweet listener, want to learn more about Hardy or her work through A Year in Style, I'll link everything in the show notes. And if today's episode sparked anything for you, I'd love to hear about it. Share the episode, leave a review, or just ask a question. I'll make sure that Hardy gets it. So until next time, please stay safe, take care of each other. And again, until next time. And please remember, it's never, ever too late to start your impossible.