Sisters-in-Service
Are you a women veteran who feels unseen and unheard? Do you struggle with finding your purpose after service? Sisters-in-Service is a podcast that gives women veterans the platform to talk about those exact issues and more. Hear from other veterans, military spouses and Veteran Service Organizations (VSO) just like you that have overcome their transition from the military. Every Tuesday this podcast encourages women veterans to stand up and be counted because as a group we have a voice. From your host - Cat Corchado - The Voice Connecting Women Veterans
Sisters-in-Service
The Legacy Framework: Redefining Success for EVERY Women
What happens when military precision meets the messy reality of motherhood? First Lieutenant Jasmine Murphy knows firsthand as she navigates the complex terrain of being an active-duty Army Intelligence Officer, historian, mother, and women's advocate. Her journey from enlisted Military Police to commissioned officer offers a masterclass in resilience and adaptation.
Lt. Murphy takes us back to her beginnings as a young Private – the only Black woman and one of just two Black people in her 40-person platoon. Rather than being intimidated, she built her reputation through excellence while being "treated like one of the guys." Today, with the wisdom of experience and formal education in Black American history, she recognizes her responsibility to help other women rise through the ranks. The transformation from competitive peer to supportive mentor represents her evolution as a leader.
Motherhood revolutionized Murphy's leadership approach. Once the "least empathetic person" who expected everyone to push through difficulties as she had, becoming a mother opened her eyes to the power of compassion and accommodation. She candidly shares how pregnancy and postpartum experiences made her a more understanding leader who recognizes that sometimes "you can't just thug it out." Her appreciation for the military's improved parental leave policies (from 12 days to 12 weeks for fathers, and 18 weeks total for mothers) highlights the positive changes in supporting military families.
The Legacy Framework, Murphy's signature approach to empowering ambitious women, helps them integrate motherhood, self-identity, and career without compromise. Based on historical awareness and authentic self-expression, it encourages women to define success on their own terms rather than society's timeline. For military members approaching transition, she advises exploring potential paths years before separation through classes, seminars, and networking opportunities.
Want to hear how one remarkable woman balances the demands of military service with the joys and challenges of motherhood while advocating for women everywhere? Listen now to discover insights that will change how you think about success, service, and self-fulfillment. Then share your own balancing act experiences in the comments – we'd love to hear from you!
Hello everyone and welcome to Season 5 of the Sisters in Service podcast. You guys know me I'm Kat Cortado, and I want all of you to understand that this podcast is a passion project born out of my own experiences as an Air Force veteran. I understand firsthand the unique challenges and triumphs that come with serving in the military and the transition to becoming a veteran. I understand firsthand the unique challenges and triumphs that come with serving in the military and the transition to becoming a veteran. You know, this podcast is a tribute to all our people that serve, but not just the service member, our active duty people, our veterans, our military spouses, military brats and, of course, our veteran service organizations. This platform gives us an opportunity to share, learn and grow together, acknowledging our shared experiences and providing support and encouragement to each other. Alongside this, most of you probably already know this, but I'm also doing the why Not Wellness podcast. It's a little snippet 15 minutes or less but this is a space dedicated to helping everyone rediscover their fitness fabulosity. It's a journey towards feeling good in our bodies and embracing wellness, because I believe that our health and wellness are the pillars upon which we build our lives, especially after service. I'm incredibly grateful for the support of our sponsors. The first one is Small Space Pilates, which is an online fitness platform offering live classes in strength training, stretching and, of course, pilates. These classes are designed to be accessible and effective, no matter where you are in your fitness journey. The second sponsor is the MySexyBusiness. They offer guidance and help you to own a business that doesn't own you you. So let's get started with our first guest for our new season.
Speaker 1:Welcome everyone to our latest episode of Sisters in Service. You know me, I'm your host, kat Corchado, and today I have a treat. I get to speak with an active duty military person. She's in the army. She's an inspiring guest. Her name is Jasmine Murphy, so she's not only an active duty military intelligence officer and historian, but she is also a mother and a strong advocate for contemporary women who are reshaping the concept of success. With a foundation built on leadership, legacy and personal experiences, jasmine empowers ambitious women to harmoniously blend motherhood, self-identity and their careers without any regrets. Ooh, that's huge. We're going to talk a lot about that. She's the mastermind behind the legacy framework and a highly sought-after speaker, known for her unique blend of military precision and raw authenticity. Ooh, ooh, that sounds spicy. Welcome Jasmine.
Speaker 2:Hey, ms Kat, thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited too, I'm excited.
Speaker 1:All right. So everyone that comes on the show, I always ask them the same question. So, Jasmine, did you pick the army or did the army pick you?
Speaker 2:Oh, I chose the army. My parents chose the army for me. I was. I honestly, I wasn't on the straight and narrow and my parents thought, okay, yes, and they're both prior military, prior army, and I wasn't, I wasn't focused and they didn't think that it was feasible, appropriate, where they sent me, sent me. Of course, I had to agree to it, of course, and I and I understand hindsight now why they kind of sent me to the Army.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, it was probably familiar to you too. You know, just being, you know, an Army Brad or like I was an Air Force Brad, I went with what I knew. I'd seen you know Air Force bases, I'd been around Air Force people. I was like, OK, it's the Air Force, I was never going to be a Marine, I'm sorry, just never was going to be. People make fun of the Air Force all the time, but hey, I'm OK with it, fine with that.
Speaker 1:So I think I always like to ask that question, because sometimes you have an intention, like maybe you wanted to go in the Marine Corps and I've heard stories of people saying, well, the Marine Corps recruiter wasn't there, so the Army recruiter was and hello, that's how they got into the military. So, jasmine, let's talk a little bit about how you became a military intelligence officer number one. Let's talk about that for a second. When you came in to the military, did you come in enlisted and then transfer into officer training, or did you know right off the bat that you wanted to be an officer, and why?
Speaker 2:Yes, ma'am. So I think it's appropriate to start in high school. So I did four years of JROTC as well and on that track, of course, they are kind of training you and educating you on going straight to college and becoming a commissioned officer, as I just previously mentioned. Going straight to college and becoming a commissioned officer, as I just previously mentioned, that didn't go so well for me. So, yes, I enlisted.
Speaker 2:I did one day short of nine years enlisted as a military police officer, military police sergeant correction and that's where my soul about being an officer from high school just kind of stayed with me and I just got the encouragement from a lot of people around me. I said, hey, mark, you need to, because people still call me Mark. I didn't change my name, I'm not that married, but hey, mark, you really should consider this. You're a great teacher, you've got a lot of experience that you could actually make a larger impact as an officer. So I went with it and many, many obstacles, not enough scores, not enough letters of recommendation, just kind of life slowing me down. But I know now that it was the right time and, yeah, I went to Georgia Southern in 2019 through 2022. 27-year-old, full-time student, lived apart from my husband.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's hard.
Speaker 2:Yeah. That's a strong marriage right there, because when I went to Korea for a whole year without my husband.
Speaker 1:I was like, if we survive this, so we've. We were able to travel, we met in the middle or we'd do small vacations here and there.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, I knew that I did not want to do the same job. I did not want to go back to the NP Corps. I know that I wanted to change it. I had my reasons, which we can talk about later. But great training. I learned a lot about myself. I was always in schools. Many different awards and accolades, just the things, accomplishments. Great, great training at LNP. But as a historian, I earned my degree in history. One of my professors who was a dear friend, mentor, love her to death. She actually she's a. Her concentration in history is black women. She's from Canada, a white woman from Canada. She's great, love her no-transcript.
Speaker 1:And so was it at that time that you decided to that you wanted to be an advocate for women.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, I think I always, or did that come?
Speaker 1:later.
Speaker 2:It definitely came during school, especially, like I remember, in 2021, of course we lived through COVID. I remember just saying I'm going to start my website. I remember saying starting so broadly with just women's empowerment and now over the years, just nestling down in my intersections of life, kind of refining what I stand for for women and I'm so glad I just started for for women and I'm so glad I just started. So it was definitely with my concentration in Black American history as a historian and then the struggles and challenges and kind of advantages in a way as a woman that paired with those two yeah.
Speaker 1:So while you were, let's go back to where you were enlisted. Did you see any disparities in how women were treated versus the men? Or you were like, well, it's pretty equal.
Speaker 2:I was treated like one of the guys in a way. In a way, it depends on who you are. If you say, okay, well, that is equal, or that's not equal, I wasn't looked at as who. I was a female soldier. I came with different needs, different advantages, different disadvantages, depending on the mission. You know what training we were doing. That day, I had different considerations that needed to be considered my leadership. So I think they thought they were doing me a favor and I appreciated it in a way. But there were definitely some disparities, like my very first unit, 2011,. Fort Stewart, georgia, 2011. Fort Stewart, georgia Private. Murphy was one of two black people and I was the only female in the platoon of I think it's about 40 something of us wow yes wow, so I found myself.
Speaker 2:I can't even imagine that oh yes, like I said, and they treated me like one of the guys, so it helped in a way, but as far as and nothing that I can remember today. But if there was anything like going on in the world politically, I don't see myself have been being able to. I don't see myself have been being able to actively speak about it or get on the same page with somebody or just have a general conversation about it.
Speaker 1:Well, you don't know what you don't know, you don't understand. You know you're. If you were looking for it, you probably would have seen it, but you're just like, hey, I'm new here. You look around and and a lot of women probably would have been like I need out of here, but you chose to stay, which shows your strength, and you're like okay, this is what it is.
Speaker 1:I have known women and I'm talking Air Force that they get into a full male-dominated career field and one of two things happen they either become one of the guys, like in every way, shape and form, or they become ultra feminine and I'm like why can't you coexist with them but still be who you are? So I was in a career field where I work with a lot of guys and you know, you go in and you're like, you know I'm one of those people that I kind of read the room who's who, what's what, you know what's going on and then you just be you, who you are. So I I think it's really important to point out the fact that you knew you were the only female in this platoon, but you chose to stay and I think that's phenomenal. Was it one of those decisions? You were like they're not going to push me out, or did you just like okay, this is what it is and I'm going to deal with it?
Speaker 2:It was very much. This is what it is and I'm going to deal with it. I remember my parents asking me when I started to make friends, you know, are they black or they're white, or where are they from? You know that type of thing, and I think it was just to see what type of community I was building and, obviously, you know, being the only black. I don't remember any other black females in that company, remember any other black females in that company. So in other, in four other platoons, there might have been some in the headquarters platoon, but they were not 18 years, 19 years old, um, so there wasn't anybody that could like directly relate with and hold out. But, um, yeah, it was very much a all right, this is what it is. Um, let's do it. And we were. When I got to that unit, we were on the road we call it road to war. So, um, like I said, our training was very good, very intense, very deliberate, because we were deploying to Afghanistan at the point in January. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So what is the difference between Private Murphy and what's your rank now?
Speaker 2:Now I'm a First Lieutenant.
Speaker 1:First Lieutenant and between Private Murphy and Lieutenant Murphy. Is it just an awareness? Is it you're more I don't want to say educated, that's not the word I want to use Like you're more aware of your surroundings. Now, Can you kind of give us an insight into that a little bit? You know what, Ms.
Speaker 2:Kat. I think that it is educated, though I really do. It's totally awareness, totally educated, because I think 2012 Private Murphy was very like. I said, ok, this is it, it's just me. But I didn't know at that time the weight on my shoulders as far as being I don't know, it might have been three or four other females in the platoon and being the only Black. So I found myself in competition with them, put against them in ways with like PT and physical fitness and stuff like that, or disassembling a weapon the fastest or whatever amongst them yeah, whatever amongst them, yeah. So, and I found myself developing a good reputation that way, and I thought that competing against those women, those other young ladies at the time, was my way to be the best. I learned now that it's not necessarily you're not in competition with them. In a way, right as a 32-year-old woman now, you're not in competition with them. It's too. In my opinion, it too is my responsibility to help them get to where I am, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Or where we all want to be. So, as far as educated and awareness, now I've got to credit it to just kind of that stint that we went through as a country since 2020, 2021. Especially now, I have to credit what's going on in the country to my awareness and definitely my formal education of being a historian. Just you know, Black history goes beyond the Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks posters that I've seen growing up in high school, you know.
Speaker 2:So I was just so baffled but also happy and excited about OK, I can do this. You know like I come from an extremely resilient culture, so these small kind of challenges and obstacles that I go through, I can do this yeah they're small compared to what our ancestors went through.
Speaker 1:I think it's interesting that when I was in for me to even see a female officer, I was in awe. I was like, oh, I never saw a female black officer, a black female officer. Not because they didn't exist, it was just where I was at, I guess you know. But just to see a woman you know as an officer, I was like, oh, that's awesome, because all you saw were guys. All I worked with was, you know, with guys. So I it's really amazing that you're seeing all of this open up for you as an officer. And I want to ask about DEI diversity, exclusion, wait, wait. Diversity, equity and inclusion Ooh, I almost messed that up. Y'all In today's society, in the military, are you? Is that changing how you are as a leader, or has it had no effect on your leadership at all?
Speaker 2:Yeah, honestly, I don't think it's had an effect on my leadership because of my own self-awareness. Like the publication of the program and the nationwide spread of it was kind of not necessarily a confirmation, but it's like, okay, everybody's caught up now, everybody's noticing now. But it was always the diversity, equity and inclusion and essentially, and I have in my mind, like loving people and taking care of people regardless of what they look like. That's always been me. That's always been me At least since I've gotten my formal education and become formally kind of aware of myself. Dei is very much a okay, y'all are caught up now.
Speaker 2:Everybody okay, you're starting to see Right.
Speaker 1:I think it's really difficult to not be inclusive, or you know what I'm saying Not be diverse in your thinking, because we're collectively, when you just nudge it down, we're all soldiers. That's what it comes to. If you strip off the rank, we all have the same uniform on. We're soldiers. That's what it comes to. If you strip off the rank, we all have the same uniform on, we're soldiers. That's what it comes down to. So I think that it's really hard to think of getting rid of DEI when the military has always said we welcome everybody, male, female, come on, come one, come all, come on in. So I wanted to ask that question. I think it's also you had mentioned about history and I remember doing COVID, reading about the women of the 6888. And I thought I think the article was about them being denied the first congressional gold medal for what they did and I thought, wow, okay, who are these people? And I started looking up and I actually did a podcast episode about it because I was like, why didn't I know about this? I was in the military, why wasn't this part of military history? So I was a little bummed, I'm going to say, but it really opened my eyes as to knowing that there's more information out there than what we're reading in our military books, in our history books in high school and stuff. There's more out there and I think you know I won't say I'm past the age to go back to school, I just don't want to. I'm just going to put it out there. But I'm an avid learner. I'm a lifelong learner. So when there's something I don't know, I want to dig in. What is this about? And I think that makes me a better person, a better podcaster. It opens my world up a little bit more than to what I just think I already know. So I think that's really important.
Speaker 1:Jasmine, how has you being an officer helped in your career? Do you see that women now look up to you as a female officer? They see you as someone who helps them, someone who's not going to. Just you know, because you know some people get in a position of authority and they change. I'm sure you've seen that. Do women say, wow, this is she's awesome, she's this? Well, of course they say you're awesome, but you know what I'm saying. Like there isn't that fear factor, there's that, oh, she's this. Well, of course they say you're awesome, but you know what I'm saying like there isn't that fear factor, there's that, oh, she's one of us, meaning she's here to help us, she's here to you know for for us to learn from her.
Speaker 2:Are you seeing that a lot? Yes, ma'am, and that's, you know, such a powerful kind of uh, I guess mode or setting or vibe to be able to put off to people. I know that I am making an impact for women, black women, women of color, who have the dream, or just even the thought, to transition to a commissioned officer from enlisted, transition to commissioned officer from enlisted. I have gotten so many emails and questions about how did you do it? Or why did you do it? Or I'm a mother, how do I get my degree? I'm hundreds of questions and emails and though I can't get back to all of them, I'm so pleased with the fact that they're even like reaching out for that advice. And also because I know that I'm kind of one of one, like one of very few, I had to walk like that, like I had to understand that in every move that I make, how I speak, how I deal with people, down to the creases in my uniforms and my clean boots, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So because you're being watched. They're watching, they're looking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely yes, ma'am, and I know that. I know that I'm making that impact, whether it not be kind of direct contact with somebody who starts me and asks me how. But definitely indirect, because I know that they can see, okay, she's been a drill sergeant, an instructor, and she's a point you know how we have these badges that kind of explain a little bit of our career. They see all of that and then they see in the middle of my rank okay, dang, she's been around. If I can, if she can do it, I can do it too, you know. So there's definitely a level of respect, but also kind of You're approachable.
Speaker 1:You're an approachable person. I've seen those officers that you know. They just look so unapproachable, like if you just wanted to ask a simple question. You're just like maybe not, maybe I won't ask that question and then it goes unanswered.
Speaker 1:So I'm glad that people see that in you, that people see that in you. I feel that vibe from you that I could come up and ask you a question if I had one, without being berated or calling this question stupid or whatever. I feel as though that and I'm a question asker, just so you know. I'm one of those. If I don't understand something, I'm going to keep asking until I'm clear. That's just who I am, jasmine, let's talk a little bit about motherhood. I remember being in the military. I was a single parent in the Air Force. But I also remember women who you know, had their children while they were active duty and the military was a little slow in giving women new mothers that time necessary. You know they're like oh, you got 30 days and then it's back to work. Has that changed now, and how has motherhood made you a better leader?
Speaker 2:Yes, ma'am. So I had to start with how motherhood has made me a better leader, because it's something that I just noticed immediately. I used to be and it might just be credit to kind of how I was trained growing up in the military but I used to be the least empathetic person, the least empathetic leader. I was very much a if I had to go through it, you can go through it too. Or if I had to go through it, you can go through it too. Or if I had to go through it, you can too, type of thing. My understanding of these various types of situations was not very wide. It was not very good Now, as a mother, having gone through some really rough times, even while I was pregnant, postpartum is not for the weak.
Speaker 1:Right, that's a whole nother podcast, y'all yeah sure, sure, sure.
Speaker 2:But it was just like okay, you know, this is life, like you can't just thug it out, you can't just push through things. Like you probably need to talk to your commander and say hey, sir, I'm giving birth in two weeks, I need to have half days or I need to go home. Can I work from home? You know, I was trying to push it all the way through. So, going back to how the military has changed and hopefully they catch up, we have to work up until we give birth, unless something is directed like, like better.
Speaker 1:So right up until your water breaks or you have a date for cesarean where they take the wow, okay, my commander, uh, gratefully he's a family man.
Speaker 2:he understood. Hey, um would call, come in for a few hours. Hey, go, go get that baby crib assembled or go organize the baby clothes or something like that. Um, and I've really appreciated that and I ended up giving birth a little bit early, about a week early, but I was well. But I'm so, so thankful for him. But now I don't know what it was before, but we get 12 weeks now.
Speaker 1:Nice.
Speaker 2:It was wonderful, plus the six weeks of convalescent leave. So the six weeks of convalescent leave. So the six weeks of convalescent leave, since it's like they they treat as a surgery, um, and then your maternity leave starts. So I had 18 weeks, but I do remember in the army that the father of the child only got about 12 days. Oh yes, and now the father gets the 12 weeks as well. Nice, and they can. It was so, so good for our household. I don't know what I would have done if my spouses just had to go back to work after 12 days.
Speaker 1:Well, you needed help too. I mean, you're recovering from, you know, your postpartum, and then you have this, this new little baby that you're kind of not sure what you're supposed to do with him her, you know. But to have someone supporting you, you know, watching the baby while you take a nap, cause, lord knows, I wish I could give a gift card to new moms for, like you, could go to some place and just take a nap for an hour. I think that would be awesome.
Speaker 2:Oh, I needed it yeah.
Speaker 1:I think the other thing, when you were talking about prior to your child and how you were different, I think I was that person that if you looked at me wrong, I would ruminate about it for days Like why did they look at me like that? Did I do something wrong? Maybe I did something, you know, and I'm going through this. I think being a single parent and advocating, speaking up for my child made me advocate for myself. It helped me to get to be able to speak up and say I'm sorry, I don't agree with that. I used to have a boss. You know how. You're in a room, you're having a meeting and someone comes up with this idea and people are like, oh, that's not going to work, that's not going to work, blah, blah, blah. Right, and my supervisor, we would go into this. We had Monday morning meetings and you have an idea and someone said, well, that's not going to work and he goes okay, replace it with another idea right now, exactly. And they couldn't and he goes. When you get a better idea, let me know, but until then, we're going with this one. So it was something. You know, I had male male leadership, my entire, with the exception of one time in my career, but I had such great leaders. They taught me a lot of things that I use even today in in my civilian life. Yeah, I still call it. That. That's so weird. I still call it. I still call civilians civilians, even civilians, you know, even though I'm I'm one of them now, but I just I think it's bizarre.
Speaker 1:So, jasmine, how do you advocate for women? How do you help women while you're active duty? What do you do for them? How do you make them see their potential? How do you help them see that even they just became a new mom or they're getting ready to go to a different duty station? Or how do you help them get over those humps in life? Because they happen, and I didn't have anyone to advocate for me. I had to advocate for myself, and so I wish you had. If you had been around, you'd probably be 104 by now. But just saying, there wasn't anybody I had. But so how do you help women? Do this?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So there's a few ways, apart from, like my own platform that encourages ambitious women to blend, all through motherhood, their own identity as a woman and their career goals. Apart from that, there's the Army, and it's a growing program, wonderful program, the Female Mentorship and Morale Program. Different installations have them and I think just about every installation might have them by now. But that's the whole point of it. Like they have different topics month to month and you can. You can go meet new people, of course, get new, get things, uh, seek advice. There's also the um.
Speaker 2:Every single thursday, um at about like 06 30, 077, there was a we call it P3T. I think it was like pregnancy, postpartum kind of training type of thing. But on Thursdays Fort Bliss, texas at least, would bring in somebody from the women's clinic or somebody from the Army community service or the military welfare recreation center and just teach things, or one of the nurses from the hospital and teach things that women needed to know. And you had pregnant soldiers in there, postpartum soldiers in there, postpartum soldiers in there. There was, I think, the first day that I got there I wrote an entire page of notes and it was just perfect from.
Speaker 2:You know what type of things they give you at the hospital start to finish. If this is your current state, they send you home. Uh, just, it was just phenomenal. So there are definitely resources, um, public army installation resources. I know for fort bliss and they did great with helping the soldiers um, but for me, it it's more about, and it's a growing kind of ideal that I have, but blending these three is going to be so impactful for my community and I just I can't wait to really launch it. I think that we don't understand how important community is, which that's a topic that I have to cover in the future.
Speaker 1:Especially now, like where we are right now. I think it's huge. It's even bigger now that we have more important I should say now to have a community than it's ever been before.
Speaker 2:Yes, and and, and you know, as you just mentioned, there are soldiers that are single parents and have one, sometimes two children and are struggling to make it happen.
Speaker 1:It's lonely. I'm going to tell you that it's lonely. Yeah, I can't even imagine Just personal you. How did you find, how did you balance being not only a military but military officer active duty Now you're a new mom, and your marriage and your personal life, and still have time for Jasmine?
Speaker 2:Yes, that's a great question and that's the. That's the whole stint of it. That's a great question and that's the. That's the whole extent of it. So, before becoming an officer and before becoming a mother, I indirectly communicated my commitment to my job by staying later, right, um, people peeking in my office or peeking in my whatever work area and seeing that I was still there getting things done. But I knew that as soon as I, when I got pregnant, I was like, okay, yeah, no, that's not gonna work this isn't it's already back this is gonna stop real quick, right and that's a new.
Speaker 2:That's a boundary that I had to set. And I knew that was going to be hard, because my leaders, that was kind of an unspoken expectation for you to stay after 1700 and after everybody else is dismissed and close out a little a few things that you have to do. But I got to go. Now I've got to go right, because there's no, though there's no balance, no, true balance.
Speaker 1:Right, you're not taking that mom hat off, you're not taking that woman hat off, you're not taking that no, you switch hats, one that says military, mom, you, just, you got a whole row of hats.
Speaker 2:But really, though, they're integrated, because you soon as, yes, there's times where you kind of got to lock in on training, or you have to lock in on being a mother, or lock in being a wife, and definitely there's definitely different tones, um, you know those different situations for sure, for sure, for sure, um, but I think they're all integrated, they all should be harmonious, because this, this is you, like it's, I think, apart from the titles, especially wife, mom, leader, whatever you, whatever you're, you you're Jasmine, you know what I'm saying. You're Miss Kat, apart from all the other stuff, because when we feel that the the Jasmine cup and one of my mentors, maddie James, she said this all the time and I live by it when you feel your own cup, everybody else gets the overflow, because I'm not good. I'm not good without my own cup, exactly, you know.
Speaker 1:So yeah, yeah, I get that. I think that's super important. Um, I also believe that. You know, I talk to women all the time and they're like, oh, it must have been so hard to be in the military and be a mom. And I said, yeah, it was. But you know, what I found is that when you're talking about the different hats and how they just kind of weave, you go from one to the next, you go from one to the next.
Speaker 1:So, being in fitness, you know, I'm a personal trainer, I'm a Pilates instructor, I have all these other certifications. And people say, how are you able to switch from one to the other? And it's nothing different than what I did in the military. I can just I switch one off and switch one on. And they're like, how do you do that? I go. I don't know how to tell you how to do that, but it's something that military, women, active duty and veteran we've just done it for so long that it seems seamless, like we just it's like the ebb and flow. We just go from one to the other. Jasmine, tell us a little bit about the legacy framework. What inspired you to create it and how does it help ambitious women?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So the legacy framework is deeply rooted in, of course, all of my titles and, of course, myself. But all of my titles and my degree in history first off right. So you want to. I think that it's important that we learn from the past.
Speaker 2:I had the and I say it every time because I credit these two women with really igniting me into working for women Dorothy Pittman Hughes and Gloria Steinem. If you have a chance, look them up. Pippa Hughes and Gloria Steinem. If you have a chance, look them up. They're in a lot of pictures together and they have their fists raised in one of their most probably their most famous picture. That's in the National Art Gallery. These women Dorothy Pippa Hughes, black Gloria Steinem a white woman, one, a mother, one not but they worked together traveled the country and spoke about women's rights and women's equality. Eventually, Dorothy Pittman Hughes had to leave the road because she could no longer take her child on the road with her. But the one of the most interesting parts is that her mission for fighting for women's rights didn't stop. She just kind of shifted the way that she did it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, harlem, new York, and I'm advocating for women and child care, daycare, for healthy, feasible structures for children to go while their mothers or their parents went to work. So I start with that learning from the past and the things that they told me right, and then embracing your authentic self. It's A lot of times society we've internalized the things that society has told us what we need to be, or society says success looks like this this is what you need to do Go to college right after Get married and have children. It doesn't consider my situation, for example, that I wasn't in the right headspace to go to college. You know, and I always say considering or in the odds of society, I've done life all out of order. You know, and I'm non-traditional, but I would consider myself success based on my own level of success.
Speaker 2:And eventually it's a long kind of outline, but long story short. You know, know what you're coming from and know where you're going and use your advantages to your advantage. That many people are resonated with um and I try to always give actionable strategies at the end when I either speak about it or do a workshop or whatever. But um it is. It has made some serious impact and the audience really is. It's any woman, but my my goal is to to speak more to high school or younger college students so they can go into life like the real world. You know what I mean with that mindset.
Speaker 1:I think it's difficult sometimes when, when I went into the military, I just needed a job I need. I had, I had a child, I need a job. I'm like, okay, let me go do this Air Force thing, let me see what this is about. I had planned on staying four years. I ended up staying 20 because I hate math and I didn't calculate. Well, just saying. But I also feel that coming out of the military, I had this sense of loss, this sense of okay, what now? Because when you spend 20 years or any amount of years doing anything and all of a sudden it's not there anymore, you're kind of like floating around in space. You know what I mean. Like, okay, am I feet going to hit the ground at some point? Do you help women in that realm? Like if I come to you and I say this is what I've done, here's my history, but I have no idea where I'm going. I know what I want to do, I just don't know how to get there. Do you help women with that also?
Speaker 2:I haven't, but I would be more than willing to sit down with any woman to unpack where their heart really is, like what they want to really explore, you know, because I really don't want anybody to waste their time and just go do whatever just because you know. And I do understand, though, like if they find themselves in a situation where they still need to continue putting food on the table. I get that. But as far as following what your heart desires, I am 2000% all about that, because there's something in all of our souls that has just been there for 20, 30 years that has never explored painting or dance or creating or whatever that is.
Speaker 2:That is the first thing I'm going to ask that woman, whoever that is, what does your heart really desire? But I actually have asked one person before and kind of the issue that we ran into is that they didn't know what they wanted. They had been doing this thing for so long, whether it be army or nursing. My mom actually finds herself in this situation.
Speaker 2:I hope she don't mind I tell her business, but she had just been working, not just just, but has been working successfully as a nurse for as long as I can remember at least 30 years um, and now she's not working anymore. It doesn't have to, but now she's just kind of being free and, um, it's, it's really wonderful to watch, because now she doesn't have to like kind of get in that mode Right, code switching and everything, and that's a whole nother conversation as well. But, um, she doesn't know what she wants to do and she's okay with that right now. But, um, yeah, I think I would ask them what does your soul truly desire first? First of all, yeah, what does your soul truly desire first?
Speaker 1:first of all, yeah, I think it's important to just you know sometimes you'll be thinking, oh, it'd be really cool if I did this, or what it would be like to do this. And I think it's important to, before you make a decision to leap over there is you know, what's involved with getting there. What do you need to do? You know, looking it up, talking to people who are in that. Whatever it is you want to do Maybe it's your own business Start, you know, start talking to business owners, find out what they go through. You know, maybe you want to start a whole different career. That's totally in the opposite end of what you want to do. You know, start looking stuff up and I think that it empowers you in such a way that you think, okay, I'm on this path. Now there are times when you think that's your path and it's not. And what I'll say is this I went into real estate because my husband asked me to and I hated it. But you know what I found out? I didn't like it and it was okay, because now I'm not sitting there going oh, maybe I could have been a realtor. No, been there, done that, got the t-shirt, didn't like it, and now I'm walking in the realm that I want to walk in, which is fitness, is what I've always wanted to do.
Speaker 1:So, jasmine, any advice for our listeners of someone who's struggling with being a mom and struggling with finding time for themselves, because, as a woman, we get pulled in so many different directions. And then, just when we go to sit down, they're like Mom, where's the soap? And you get to sit down. And my husband? They're like mom, where's the soap? And you get. Then sit down. My husband goes, oh, where's the salt? And you get. You're like, can I get five minutes in the bathroom by myself, please? So what do you tell women? What kind of advice could you give our listeners? Something simple, something easy that they could put into play right now?
Speaker 2:yes, and also miss cat, if you don't mind, I want to go back and add something else to the woman who's struggling to figure out what it is that they, they want to do. Um, and sometimes, as as it is my mom's situation, you kind of it's so abrupt. But as far as coming up on retirement let's say you have five years left I would encourage anybody male, female, mother, just a woman class or a webinar, seminar, networking events, plenty of education out there for you, just general education out there. Anybody who just wants to simply explore something, to see do I like real estate or do I want to own a business or whatever, instead of waiting until you get your DD 214 and um, that's just it, you know so, um, but as far as the woman that's trying to balance it all, or or struggling with integrating it all, you need a few things, and I think at the top of that is definitely community, community, community, community. I don't know what I would do, and God works in such mysterious ways.
Speaker 2:As I mentioned, my mom is. She's not working right now and I think she's having a ball. Okay, she's like I said, she's been working for 30 plus years at this office, but now she's able to support me as a mother. So she's in South Carolina and she's able to come back and forth and she has an understanding with her husband where he doesn't give her no shenanigans about coming up to Virginia to be with me for a few days here and there.
Speaker 2:I don't know what I would do without my mom. I don't know what I would do without my mom and I start my day every day talking to my dad for about a good 30 minutes and checking on my grandmother and seeing what's going on with them. So definitely them and absolutely my husband. He doesn't give me no issues, he just likes to stay in the house and he wants to be with our son, you know, and he wants to play his game. He wants to be in his office and do his own thing. So I have a great, great community and I understand that that doesn't look like that for everyone. And it doesn't have to be an intimate partner to be a community. It doesn't have to be your mom or your dad, it can be a friend that you meet in the Walmart grocery store parking lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely it could be somebody that you just see.
Speaker 2:you know, you met on Facebook Just having someone to pour into you and you also to pour into them.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you need to vent. Sometimes you need to vent.
Speaker 2:You just need to vent and just to get it out of your system.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, or cry it out, wipe your tears and go on about your business. Yeah, so it's definitely having community right. And then, second to that and I'll wrap up, but second to that, it's definitely um, working on who you are and understanding how you have evolved as a person. Right, we can't expect to be, I can't expect to be, the same Jasmine that I was in the season in 2022, because I'm just not, you're not. Yeah, you know, I've added to my list of titles and now I'm a mother, right, so I need to always consider that. Just start looking backwards and always look forward and definitely always just evolve and see it as a See it as an advantage, because some of some of our friends, family even are stuck in old seasons and just don't want to keep on moving on, and they can be the people that hold you back too.
Speaker 1:Yes, they can, you know they can be the people.
Speaker 1:Oh, you don't want to do that, you know. I think that in your journey and I picture myself on a sidewalk and the sidewalk's just going off into the sunset it's okay to stop for a minute. It's just like when you drive cross-country you don't just drive from one end to the other, You've got to do a pit stop. You know what's around you. Take a look, you know. Maybe you need to stop because you need to take a breath. That's okay too, but always keep moving forward.
Speaker 1:I think one of the most I don't know it was important. It was too late for me, but for anyone listening, if you are active duty and you, like Jasmine said, you're five years out and the advice she gave was amazing. But here's the other thing the smartest thing I ever heard someone say was that they started their business five years from getting out of the military, because you know what that does for you. Now you don't have to look for a job. You can if you want to, but most businesses are up and running and viable in five years, if not before, so you can get out and be a full-time entrepreneur. So you know, I missed the class on that. Better late than never. Right, desmond, what's coming up for you?
Speaker 2:oh, um. I am trying to. My goal is to speak. I'll do workshops with all of the young women in my immediate community, in the DMV, these academies, high schools and especially the college and university community. I'm trying to speak to everyone. That is what it is to spread the legacy framework and get women in the streets motivated to work for themselves, advocate for themselves and live a life that they love.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I have always felt that number one, we outnumber men. Number two we are, for the most part, the decision makers. We're the buyers. We get the groceries. You buy the things. We do the for the most part the decision makers. We're the buyers, we get the groceries. You buy the things, we do the things for the kids. If we all banded together, as I mean, can you imagine that kind of community?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:I'm just putting it out there, folks. Okay, I'm just putting it out there.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying we have such power and we don't understand it. Yet we don't realize the power we have If we stopped buying at a certain store. You know what I'm saying. You see where I'm going with this and I'm not saying to do that folks. That's not what I'm saying. But I'm trying to get you to understand the power that we have as consumers, as women, as entrepreneurs, even active duty and veteran.
Speaker 1:So, jasmine, this has been such an amazing conversation and thank you so much for being on the podcast and I hope that anyone listening. You know Jasmine has such powerful things to say. You may need to listen to this more than once. I'm just going to say because there's so many little tidbits, so let me so many little golden nuggets of information that you might just bypass the first round but you might pick it up on the second round, kind of like when you see a movie for the second time, you're like I don't remember that happenings. On that note, jasmine, thank you so much for being here today. Everyone else, you know I'm going to say please stay safe, take care of each other until next time and please always remember it's never too late to start your impossible fall. Thank you.