Sisters-in-Service
Are you a women veteran who feels unseen and unheard? Do you struggle with finding your purpose after service? Sisters-in-Service is a podcast that gives women veterans the platform to talk about those exact issues and more. Hear from other veterans, military spouses and Veteran Service Organizations (VSO) just like you that have overcome their transition from the military. Every Tuesday this podcast encourages women veterans to stand up and be counted because as a group we have a voice. From your host - Cat Corchado - The Voice Connecting Women Veterans
Sisters-in-Service
Beyond the Hype: Honest Conversations About Starting a Business
Forget the overnight success stories and million-dollar launch myths. This raw, honest conversation with Denise Millet—the "Findability Queen"—peels back the glossy veneer of entrepreneurship to reveal what really happens when you decide to work for yourself.
Denise's journey began not with a business plan, but with a wake-up call. Standing in a hotel lobby during yet another exhausting business trip, she received a cancer diagnosis that forced her to reevaluate everything. Though thankfully treatable, this moment became the catalyst that transformed her from corporate consultant to entrepreneur. "If you're going to work that hard for a company that has no loyalty to you," she reflects, "I would much rather put my loyalty in me."
What follows is a refreshingly candid discussion about the messy middle of building a business—the part most entrepreneurs don't share on social media. Denise reveals how her greatest corporate strength—being a versatile problem-solver—actually became her biggest entrepreneurial weakness. "Online, you need one thing, one thing," she emphasizes, describing the years-long process of narrowing her focus to become truly effective.
From the challenge of articulating your value proposition to the delicate dance of work-life balance, Denise offers practical wisdom gained through trial and error. Her advice on finding the right mentor stands out as particularly valuable: research thoroughly, observe their communication style, and ensure they're willing to answer your questions—even if you need to ask fifty times before understanding.
For anyone standing at the crossroads of continued employment or entrepreneurship, Denise offers this gem: start small, on the side, without the pressure of immediate success. "It's not something you want to do feeling panicked," she advises. And perhaps most importantly: "Stop getting ready to get ready. Just do it."
Ready to take that first small step toward building something meaningful? This episode will give you both the reality check and encouragement you need to move forward with confidence.
Youtube: @findabilityqueen
Welcome to Sisters in Service podcast. Most of you know me as a strong advocate for women veterans in being recognized not only as veterans, but also as women who are changing the world through our passion of serving even after service. This podcast is my passion by telling all the stories of military brats, military spouses, active duty and veterans, not to forget the veteran service organizations that help us along our transition journey. I want to thank you in advance for listening. I hope that you will join me. Every week, a new podcast and episode comes out every Tuesday, so I hope that you will join and I hope that you enjoy. This podcast is brought to you by Small Space Pilates. Are you ready to get fit and fabulous from the comfort of your own home? Look no further than Small Space Pilates. With live online Pilates and strength training classes, a video library and a no perfection allowed policy, you can achieve your fitness goals without ever leaving your house. Click on the link for your complimentary week and start your journey to feeling fabulous today.
Speaker 1:Welcome everyone to another episode of Sisters in Service, and this time we're going to be talking about entrepreneurship, not the. Oh, I made a million dollars. I can show that to you too. Okay, not that, but what? The process? That entrepreneurs that I know and love dearly what their thought process was to start a business because it's easy to say I'm going to be an entrepreneur, and then what it's like dot, dot, dot dot. So I wanted to put out some information from people I know who are entrepreneurs, who have been on the struggle bus, like I have as an entrepreneur, to give you some tidbits of information they went through, but also some advice of things, some do's and don'ts that they have found have worked and have not worked for them.
Speaker 1:My first guest today is the findability queen herself. I'm so honored to have her, denise Millay. She's my friend, but she's also what we call the findability queen because she is. She is a technology simplifier, she's a content creator, published author, search marketing consultant I know it keeps going right. Her mission is to make sure entrepreneurs take full advantage of the opportunities search engines offer their businesses, such as those blogs, those podcasts, videos and websites, because you want people to come to your website, but how do you do that Then? Denise is that person. So, denise, welcome, and thank you so much for being here today, on a Saturday.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you for having me, Kat. I'm honored to be here with you today.
Speaker 1:You are such a wealth of information and I wanted to find out some personal information about what went into the decision of becoming an entrepreneur. So my first question is what inspired you to be self-employed, aka entrepreneur, and was there a specific turning point that pushed you towards that?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes and yes. I was working a corporate job. I was traveling four days a week. I'd leave on a Monday, I'd come back on a Thursday, sleeping in hotels, eating bad food, working weekends. When I got home, it was like super stress and I loved a lot of it. I really loved what I was doing, but it was really hard, and so I started to feel like I needed a plan B and another act. Like I had been a mom, I was home for 18 years, I ran households, I did that whole thing, and then I went back to work and this was like oh, this is, I can't do this anymore, it's not going to work forever.
Speaker 2:Like this is great, but it's not going to work forever. Like this is great, but it's not going to work forever. So I started writing copywriting because I am I'm an okay writer and I thought I did well with some of the things I did for business. So that kind of sent me in that direction. And then I got a medical diagnosis one day. Uh, while I was standing in a hotel lobby waiting for my team to come down, I got a you have a, you know, cancer diagnosis from a test.
Speaker 2:I was like, oh, my goodness, oh well, that changes things and yeah, so there was no reason to continue to live in the stress, because I'm sure there's part of that that contributed to. You know, I wasn't taking care of myself, I wasn't doing care of myself, I wasn't doing the right things and I, you know, obviously it had an impact and I was very, very fortunate. It was wholly treatable. It was, you know, like early, early, early got gone. Awesome, no radiation, no chemo, just done Right.
Speaker 2:But it was a wake up call and I was beat, I was absolutely fried. So I slept for a year. Basically, I just like kind of said, okay, I'm going to catch up and try to figure out what I was doing. And that's when I decided I couldn't go back. After you know well, not a year, but I mean I decided after a good rest that I just couldn't go back to doing that grind because I wasn't managing it well and, as much as I loved it, I wasn't going to be able to go for long. So that pushed me over the edge to actually say out loud that I am officially on my own.
Speaker 1:So it kind of changes your perspective on everything, doesn't it? Yes, you know it kind of lights a fire, because if you're going to work that hard for a company that has no loyalty to you, by the way, I would much rather put my my loyalty in me, because if I let me down, I'm okay with that.
Speaker 2:I was convinced, even before I got the diagnosis, that I was tired of supporting somebody else's dream, basically, and giving all of that energy just to what they were trying to achieve, and I felt like I needed to find my own set of dreams that this passion could go towards.
Speaker 1:So yes, passion is huge. And speaking of passion, how did you decide what your business is going to be? How did you? I know it took a while for you to become the findability queen, although someone we both know dearly kind of helped with that.
Speaker 2:Well, honestly, kat, you know I'm still. It's still a work in progress, I have to say, because I was a consultant in technology and I liked helping people. I like training. I've always been explaining things to people. I've had a lot of experiences where people have been frustrated by tech and that was my realm. I stood in between tech and the real world and that's who I was.
Speaker 1:And made all of that jargon readable, easily digestible for us.
Speaker 2:Right. Even when I was not working corporate, I was on boards, I was in technology situations where that's what I was always doing, and so that's where I started is that's what I wanted to do. I didn't know exactly how I was going to do that, but you know, I had some specialties and websites, I did some work there and I graduate school experience and a bunch of other things, but things have changed a lot since I got out of school. So I was looking for a way to do something online to share my expertise, but working with people who weren't necessarily ready to understand everything, but they wanted to a little bit.
Speaker 1:You know I didn't want to just be hired to do stuff.
Speaker 2:I wanted to actually help people figure out how to do it. You know, I think it's kind of like the elephant in the room.
Speaker 1:You're like how do I eat this elephant? You know it's like one bite at a time. You know you need it in small bites. Denise, what kind of information or what kind of advice would you give someone who's on the fence about starting a business because they're not sure? What kind of what kind of advice would you give them?
Speaker 2:I would say that you have to just start somewhere with one thing and work on how you're telling people what you do, what your message is, what makes you different. Why should they work with you? Like, if you can get your why and what it's going to do for them, what, what problem do they have and how you're going to solve it? If you can get to one thing and try to do that, don't worry about setting up the business and the accounting and you know all the things like, just start with that one thing and find out where your people are and stuff happens to them somehow.
Speaker 1:So you decide to make this change. But then how did you start to like? What was that first step? After you said I'm becoming self-employed, I'll be an entrepreneur. Now what?
Speaker 2:I started. Well, I have been doing the copywriting training so, and I've always been fascinated with search and fascinated with marketing and there's there's a lot of interest there in writing. So I was doing that and then trying to do like website copywriting and then that turned into doing websites for people. That was the first step, but you know it's a real difficult sell. It's a lot of time for not as much dollars, so it's not a sustainable only thing.
Speaker 2:So, but I was honing my process and then I started writing a book and I thought that that would help, because the things you need are people to know who you are, recognize what you do, and you have to have some experience and let people know you have experience. So one of the things you do is you write a book, and so you know I started that way, but then COVID hit too. So then it became weird because everybody was really ready, Like I was just starting, and I was like, oh my goodness, the whole world is here and you would think that that's a green oyster, like that's just right there in front of you, but it's like I, you know, I was still learning.
Speaker 2:So I did a lot of talking. I tried a lot of different avenues to learn different ways. Whether it's a course, I was trying to get information from me to other people, so I tried courses and the book and some other things. So I just kept going on every angle and the message the hardest part for me was I was a jack of all trades, I was a consultant, I was hired, I would go into a situation and whatever they needed I could do.
Speaker 1:Wow, what do they call that Multi-talented?
Speaker 2:Well, you know but yeah, anyway, I mean in certain settings. Okay, I won't say everything, but I can do a lot of things, and that's what you do as a consultant, as you morph into what is needed, and online, that's not what you need. You need one thing, one thing, and you need to be good at that one thing and and if not the best or heading into the best, and focus on that one thing, because if you're a jack of all trades, then you're a jack of nothing exactly it's like those companies that say oh, we do this and this and this and this and this, and you and you're like okay, which one are they the best at?
Speaker 1:Great that's the one. I want.
Speaker 2:I didn't know that in the beginning. I didn't understand that I was trying to find ways to serve as many people as possible when, in actuality, I needed to find the smaller group of people that really needed me and find a way to speak what they needed, and that took some time. So, yeah, it's still taking time.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's taking a lot of time, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean it takes a while to hone it down and and feel really confident and comfortable.
Speaker 1:So it's like sharp, it's so sharp.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So, denise, what was some, what was an unexpected challenge you faced while launching your business?
Speaker 2:Oh gosh, how hard it was for me to not be on camera but to describe what I did. So I got over being on camera pretty quick because in the pandemic you had no choice, right, and everybody was, so it was trial by fire, it's like it totally changed everything and nobody cared, and that was good.
Speaker 2:Actually, it was good Not good that we had a pandemic, but it was good because everybody was doing it. So you kind of bit the bullet and you just did it and you became what you had to become. But actually articulating my message and my why and who I was trying to talk to and what I wanted to do, is very hard, very, very hard, because it was easier for me to go in and say okay, here, you told me your problem, let me tell you how I can fix it. This was I needed to say. Here's what I do. I know that I can help you, and that's a different shift. And so I really was not practiced at that. That took some time to get comfortable. Yes, sounds silly, but it really was.
Speaker 1:Well, I think what's interesting is that we want to be in business but we don't want to put ourselves out there. To be in business, like you have to put your face on things and be in social media and all this other stuff, and that feels really uncomfortable. At one point it was uncomfortable Cause I remember doing early in my podcast I was like I'll never be on video and then look what happens, I know and and I really don't feel.
Speaker 2:I mean, don't ask me to stand in front of an auditorium of multiple hundreds of people. I'm not ready for that yet. But, um, I am very much more comfortable with a group of people and knowing what I'm talking like. I'm always comfortable in a subject talking about what I know versus trying to entertain. You know so I'm not an entertainer. I'm great at imparting knowledge and answering questions and doing all those things, but boy, don't tell me to practice the speech.
Speaker 1:It's like, yeah, that's not going to happen.
Speaker 2:Well, it should, but it's not as easy. I am very much the introvert, as you know, and that takes a lot out of you. It takes a lot out of you to do that in person.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, it's very. What's your word? It's very hard to be people-y all the time.
Speaker 2:People to think that I'm not a people person because I am, but I'm not an extrovert. I don't get joy out of a group and trying to be that one be all, end, all for a group, you know that's just not who I am.
Speaker 1:So so, denise, what kind of mindset or habits did you have to put in place to become an entrepreneur? Because we don't know what we don't know, we sit down like I'm an entrepreneur. What kind of things did you have to put in place in order to make your business better?
Speaker 2:Well, I would say it was a lot of trial and error, but what I found was I was trying to put my work habits from corporate into being an entrepreneur, and so I set myself up to crash and burn on my own. It was all work. It was all work. It was all work because you do everything yourself easier. Finding the community that we're in.
Speaker 2:That got a little bit easier to give myself permission to have a schedule, but I treated it like it was a job, because I'd get up at the right hour of the day, the same hour of the day, and I'd go to work.
Speaker 2:And when you're home there are a million things pulling at you that you're looking at, that you should be doing. But one of the things that that I was good at was going into my office and during that time there was nothing else that was allowed to have my attention, Absolutely. So, yeah, I could go and have an hour lunch or two hour lunch and do whatever, but I wasn't chopping the day like doing laundry while I was working. I wasn't. I wasn't, you know, running errands in between calls. I don't do that Like I have to have dedicated time, even if it's just to think. Um, because if you overschedule just appointments, you don't get that time to develop what it is you're trying to do in your own mind to get comfortable with it. So that was one of the biggest things was taking back some of my personal time and not letting it turn into what I had done corporate wise from a schedule point of view, and making sure that I put the time into work and dedicated that to work Absolutely.
Speaker 1:How do you measure success in your business Now, when you're a new entrepreneur? Success is I got my socials out there. I got my weekly email. Those are wins, folks, I'm just telling you. But how do you measure Denise success?
Speaker 2:in your business. Oh goodness, you know. I think it has changed over time. So at first you want it to be money, you want it to be revenue, but the myth that anybody could be a successful entrepreneur overnight takes a while to kill. But once you kill it, then you realize you can't. You just can't measure on that or you'll feel awful goals.
Speaker 2:But it is getting things done, the tasky stuff done, then getting clear on what you're talking about, narrowing it down. I feel like I feel good when I can have conversations with people and I know it works, like it resonates so for me. When I have that opportunity to talk to somebody about what I do or something that they can't solve, that they need help with, that feeds me a lot. So I try to do that as much as I can and then keep believing in what the plan is to get to the place you want to get to, because it takes a while. I mean, everybody who's ever said you could do it overnight is wrong. Even if you do and you're successful for the first shot, it's lucky and it won't last, or at least that sounds terrible. But it really does take multiple years to hone it in and be successful at it.
Speaker 1:Well, it's almost more pressure. When I first started my podcast and people say, oh, you want a thousand listeners a week, you know and there were podcasts out there that the first three or four episodes they were getting that. That's a lot of pressure for me because now you have to maintain it and if you get anything below a thousand you're like wait, what just happened? I know what did I do. So I I love that. You know that success for you and for me also, is getting those things done that I put on my calendar to get done for my business. That's a win, folks, and you have to measure those small wins to enjoy the bigger win. I think.
Speaker 2:And listen. Everybody has fear, everybody has doubt, everybody has ups and downs, as in life. They come in business and you can't ignore that or expect yourself not to have that, and I think there was also a paradigm out there that being a business owner was a brick and mortar experience. You know like it opened a store, people came and they bought. That's not what online is at all, unless you're Amazon or one of the other well-known places. But when you're a solopreneur or an individual, it's not that way at all. It's really a development process that you have to allow to happen.
Speaker 1:And over time. It doesn't happen overnight.
Speaker 2:You have super deep pockets that you're just throwing dollars at it. It's not as common for it to happen overnight, and that's that's hard to accept. You know it really is, and it feels like you're slogging sometimes and then sometimes you're like I get up and there's nothing else I want to do. Yeah, so I just have to ride the ride, the wave, ride, the roller coaster, exactly, yeah, and I understand everybody does so, denise.
Speaker 1:I know personally that you have a and she's going to hate me for saying this. I'll say mentor, I won't call her a business coach. Yes, ma'am, how has this helped you in your business and what is your advice about finding a coach?
Speaker 2:Do your research. Number one. Do your research. Number one. Try not to well.
Speaker 2:People put faces on online and they say all the right words. They've got the marketing thing down, they've got the message down and they're selling. They're always selling, but they're trying to make it feel like it's personal Right and it's very easy to get drawn into that and thinking this is going to be a great step and then you invest in something and you're like it doesn't work. Everybody does that and it fails and or it succeeds. Everybody tries these things out. You have to not get discouraged and look for a person who speaks your language. Go out and look at what they do. Speak to other people that they are associated with. Watch their social media. Try to find ways to find out who they are and get on the phone with them. If you're not comfortable before you invest.
Speaker 2:I feel so fortunate that one of our other community members found our mentor and introduced me to her and we met and had a two-hour phone call the first time. Wow, and I didn't do that thinking it was a mastermind or anything. I was looking for someone to help me figure out what the specific direction was that I should take and I needed people I could trust, and that's really hard to find. So you have to do your research and you have to force yourself to talk to them. If you can't reach them, then you have to second guess whether they're right for you, because I really think that personal connection is the only way you can test whether it's right. Like, if they do a podcast, you listen to the episodes. If they don't do a podcast or they don't do videos, you wonder why. Absolutely that's what I would recommend, and she has been, um, the one who's kept me, you know, moving forward and helping me a lot, and I, you know I have that level of trust.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I think you probably know this story. Um, I had invested in a coach prior to the one that I have now. She said all the things, all, and then it was you pay the money and it was, ok, do this, ok, do this. There was no, we're going to do this and here's how you're going to do it. So when our mentor approached me, I was like I'm good, good, okay, I'm all set, I'm good. But then, after hearing what she kept saying on Clubhouse, and she kept saying this, she kept repeating things, saying the same thing, and I was like I had this level of trust with her already and you know that when I decided to come to the community, I was always. I was only going to stay for one one you know, 13 week.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I was like, okay, I'm here, what do I need to do? Okay, and then I'm gone and she has also helped me so much and you have to. And I tell people all the time I'm an ABC one, two, three girl. She speaks my ABC one, two, three.
Speaker 2:So it's and you're going to here's yeah, here's the thing You're going to.
Speaker 1:you're going to make mistakes in coaching. You're going to make mistakes in your business. Chalk it up to failing forward. You know what you don't want. Here's what you do want, and, and and. Begin with that. So don't be scared to do that, because I call it R and D research and development.
Speaker 1:You know you, you've got to be able to put yourself out there just a little bit and say this is the perfect person. That's how I feel about you know, our common mentor. I feel she's like she was made just for me and she's not just for me, but you know for me too, and that's it, you know.
Speaker 2:But I think too, it's very easy to question, and doubt, as I said, and fear and want to give up. And we don't think anybody else feels that way, we just think it's us. And, um, she will be the first one to tell you how many times she's felt that way. And that's interesting too, because a lot of people don't share their ups and downs, they only share the shiny stuff, and that's also. You know. Some people do it insincerely, but you really know a person when they are willing to share the good, the bad and the, and it instills trust, yes, you know with you and the other thing and one more thing.
Speaker 1:And then we'll go on. Um, the other coach that I had was when I she's okay, get into Canva and do this. And that's when I said I hate Canva, back it because I didn't know. I didn't know what I didn't know. But through our mentor, we were able to walk through it and I was like, oh, it's magic, okay. So I just thought I'd put that out there.
Speaker 2:It's true, you really need somebody to. If you need help, be willing to give it to you, as opposed to just, you know, sending you off into Google or YouTube to find an answer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I was afraid to ask questions. You know, I asked a question. She'd be like well, you're supposed to know how to do this, and I'm like I'm sorry, I don't know how to do this. So, find someone that's willing to answer the question, even if you have to ask the question 50 times, because on that 51st time you're going to go oh, I get it. Ask until you're clear, that's right. That's right. So, Denise, let's talk a little bit about work-life balance. You mentioned a little bit about it in the beginning, but how has that strategy changed in your business as of today?
Speaker 2:Well, as of today, it's still an up and down process. It really is. I mean, there are weeks where I'm super good at it and there are weeks where it's like, oh, I've got to finish this and and I, my schedule gets out of whack and it, you know, it's, it's never done, it's never completely done. And there are times where I feel like I'm okay with taking a day because I need a mental health day, or I want to go to the beach, or I want to do this, and there are times where I safeguard my weekends to do things that are not business related, but then there are other ones where I can't, and so, in general, I try not to give myself too much grief about it, because I I'm making my own choices, so I'm not letting someone else dictate what I need to do. I'm actually only doing what I can, and if I need to go to bed and it's nine o'clock I go to bed.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, if I've got energy to stay up. What does our mentor call it? Pumpkin o'clock.
Speaker 2:But if I've got energy to stay up till 11 and it's working, then I'll do it and then I'll start later the next day. So I'm I'm trying to be flexible and I don't. I've never been a real big like I got to go out everywhere all the time. I'm like I'm happy to be home. So for me it's great to cook or to watch a movie or sit on my happy place in my lanai and stare at the pond and watch the big birds walk by. You know I'm happy with that. I really don't need to go places, but I do need to unhook myself from my computer.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. How about you? A couple more questions. Denise, Looking back from where you started to now, would you have done anything differently during your transition to being an entrepreneur?
Speaker 2:Yes, I would have done what I advised in the beginning. I would have picked one thing and focused on that and honed that in and tried that as my entree, instead of being all things to all people and just because that's what I had been and I didn't know better, but that I think that would have helped me make progress sooner.
Speaker 1:What kind of advice would you give someone considering becoming an entrepreneur?
Speaker 2:Just do it and do it as a side hustle. Do it in part time, because it takes a lot of thinking, it takes a lot of deliberation. It's not something that you want to do feeling panicked, Like you have to make it work. You really need to give it time to create and build in you too. So if you can try one thing, and try one little thing on the side and see where that goes, I think you'll feel better.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I think you have to keep in mind that, whatever it is, you do be passionate about it. Because on those days when you just don't want to do anything business related and trust me, I've been there the passion for it, your why, is going to get you there. And number two stop getting ready to get ready, just do it. I hate to keep quoting Nike, but just just do it. So, denise, thank you so much for being here today and answering these questions. You know, if you're on the fence, do one little thing. Maybe you're trying.
Speaker 1:You want to be a coach? Look up coaching. What's involved with coaching? What kind of coach do you want to be? How passionate are you about coaching? Are you just doing it? Because it sounds familiar? Because your friend said be a coach, do what lights a fire inside of you. And with that I'm going to say thank you, denise, and I hope that you found some information in what Denise said and what we both said to help you take that tiny step forward. So until then, please stay safe, take care of each other until next time and remember it's never too late to start your business. Thank you.